Here We Go

2016, I’ll look back at you one day when I’m old and say: that was the year we moved to Florida! I was thirty years old and happier than ever.

I felt the world was in turbulent times. Or was that simply something all generations had in common? A feeling of the world being in worse shape than ever,  always the end of the world as we knew it.

I felt the world was sweeter than ever. I was a mama, and without any bias of course, I had been given the most wonderful human being, my son. I felt independent, free, yet I had a family. What a joy.

I felt proud of where I was coming from, from a country with social security, innovation, health care, education, beauty, equality. I loved the word Scandinavia.

I felt privileged, sometimes so much so that I had moments of despair; I was about to fly across the Atlantic to pursue my dreams, while at the same time people with similar dreams were stuck somewhere in the Mediterranean, bad homes, bad situations, dictatorships. Who was I to deserve all the goodness?

I felt I had chosen sides. There was one side which lured me to think that the world was a dark place and nothing could be done about that. The other side was about taking action, refusing to accept status quo, forcing me to think of ways to be active in society. I believed I had found the strength to always be on that latter side.

I felt I was on a mission. A woman in her thirties, I was able to embark on doctoral level studies and be a mother. Now look at that. I felt I was benefiting from the work of so many women before me. I felt obliged to continue their work. I was a proud feminist. I had dreams so big saying them aloud made me blush; yet I felt content without having achieved them yet.

I felt I was uprooting myself – once again – from familiar faces and places. At times I felt sadness about it. Yet not in a million years could that sadness have stopped me. I was grateful for an adventurous mind.

In 2016, I was ready to move to the sunshine state, terrified of guns and shootings and violence and Trump, but more ready than ever to have an open mind and learn.

I thought:

Life, Atte, Amos, and the cats, let’s do this. Let’s move to Florida.

 

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