This much I know now: there is nothing, nothing in this world that can prepare you for the moment you meet your child.
There I was lying on the hospital bed with a little boy in my arms. This was the same little boy who had lived in my belly for almost 10 months. I thought I could imagine how meeting him would make me feel. I was wrong. The love I felt and feel for that little being is so deep, so huge, so overwhelming. There really is no comparison.
This much I know now: giving birth is the most amazing and the most primitive experience I have ever been part of. Usually being quite a rational person (I think), giving birth knocked that part of me down. I humbly stood corrected.
This event was bigger than me, this I couldn’t control. I had to let go of my expectations, my plans and even my calm (I didn’t know such a loud beast lived in me, referring to those last seconds of pushing).
In giving birth, I got my biggest lesson in just being in the present moment. I had to accept that things don’t always go precisely as I think they will. What mattered was the outcome: a healthy baby boy. And I would do it all over again.
And more than ever after this experience do I think that women are true warriors, true queens.
Having a child turned my world upside down. It has made me feel vulnerable in so many ways and at the same time it has awakened in me a strength, a power I didn’t know I had.
Without doubt, this is the best time of our lives.
P.S. His name is Amos Johannes. Amos is an old Hebrew name which means ‘to carry’ but we chose it, I think, because this fall we have been walking past the Amos Anderson art museum in Helsinki so frequently. The name slowly grew on us. The name Johannes runs in my husbands’ family.